Assalamualaikum wbt,
Why aren't my prayers answered? Have you ever pop up this question before? I think we tend to mix up between our means and our ends.
" Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not." (Al-Baqarah:216)
I wanted to share one personal story where Allah answered my prayers. Back during primary till high-school years, I never have any fixed ambition. Sometimes I wanted to be a businesswomen, sometime a lawyer and there are times where I even wanted to be a stewardess. But starting from matriculation, just like another science-stream student, I said to myself, maybe I wanted to be a doctor. Yes, A doctor (I was aiming for medical doctor). Maybe it was because of my dear high-school friend, Siti, who got an offer to pursue her study in Medicine at Egypt. It was a great lie if I said I'm not envy of her. During my matriculation year, it was the first time of I being serious in study. I was the burning midnight oil and pray to Allah that I can score high CGPA to enable myself enrolling for medical school. But instead (as you could guess), my result was moderate. I am qualified to apply for medical school but was not strong enough to compete with others.
But one day, while waiting for UPU result, I got a dentistry offer from Malaysian Science University (USM). I was speechless and ecstatic at the same time. All my family especially my dad was so proud of me. The whole family treat me nicely as they were too happy about the news. But a week later, I got a reply from USM telling me that the offer was a technical mistakes. System error they said. Apparently their system mistakenly send the offer to 8+++ applicants but only 4+++ places available in the Health campus. I was devastated! I felt like a pregnant lady whose miscarriage her baby. I was ashamed of myself and to my family especially my dad. I felt like I'm disappointing them. I was so scared, it took me 3 days to tell him the news. I thought he would be angry but instead he said to me, to not worry and be sad. It is not my fault and there's still UPU, saying that I still got the chance. I pray to Allah. I cried. I ask for His Forgiveness. Ask for His Mercy.
Then, UPU result came out. They offered me a Veterinary Medicine in UMK. I was thrilled. I am thankful as I still got a good course. A course that could make my family proud. I never thought enrolling to a vet school before. And for sure I never thought it could change my life so much. 5 years before, I never thought of becoming a vet student. I never thought I'll experience so many things in University. I became one of the Student Council Representatives and President of Veterinary Student Association. I never thought in 2 years, I'm able to travel to Beijing and Perth, Australia. Indeed with Allah's blessing, I've learned so much and am still continue learning. There are still another 3 years before graduating and still many things to learn. :)
So,if we pray for it and we don't get it, perhaps Allah has chosen another means for us. Perhaps through hardship, the patience it builds and purification it cause, is nothing but to bring us to that end: Allah. It may be, as only Allah knows the best. Yes, we plan. But Allah also plan. And Allah is The Best Planner. We must believe in the power of patience and prayer. Believe in being strong when everything is going wrong because we have Allah with us. La Haula walla quwatta illah billah. Put our trust in Allah! :)
And we must also remember that the ultimate objectives of du'a is to build our connection to Allah. Through du'a, we become closer to Him. So make du'a! make Istikhara! because by doing that we acknowledges that only Allah knows best, and ask Allah to bring what is best and take away what is not best.
We might then realize that Allah answered all du'a. Maybe not always in the form we expected but better for us in achieving the ultimate end: The pleasure of Allah SWT.
I still keep the offer letter till now. Sometimes to remind myself, to not set my hopes too high. And prepare myself that sometimes unpredictable things do happen. :)
The way Allah answering us is overwhelming but NEVER A NO :)
P/S: Keep in mind that, Allah isn't a means, He is the end. :)
~Waallahualam~
