Of this bad heart of mine

Assalamualaikum wbt.

It is one week passed June. Half of the year already passed by. What have you achieved Dear Lot? My new year resolution was to be good person. A good slave for Allah. A good muslimah. A good daughter. A good sister. A good student. A good friend. And I hardly that person I wanted to be. And it is saddening. To realize that you are actually a bad person. you know you are because it's only you and Allah who know what is it in you heart. 

It's hard isn't it? To cleanse and purify your heart. Anger and Hatred never leaves you alone. When it comes the people surround you, they keep getting on your nerves without doing anything wrong. Why is that happening? Whyyyy?? (I'm making a troll face here)

Sabda Rasulullah saw “ Ketahuilah! Bahawa di dalam badan ada seketul daging. Apabila ia baik, baiklah badan seluruhnya dan apabila ia rosak, rosaklah sekeliannya. Ketahuilah! Itulah yang dikatakan hati”(H.R. Bukhari dan Muslim)

It's me. I am the problem. My heart is. Tajdid back your niat. Renew it back. But then I realize there are some persons that i can't get along well with. How to cope with it? Distance yourself. If it isn't working, then just keep quite and keep istighfar to vanish that hatred in your heart.

Sabar ya Lot. Nak jadi jahat sekelip mata je. Nak jadi baik, bertalu-talu ujian melanda. Allah kan ada. Renew your niat. Lillahi ta'ala. :)

My Makcik Tabam once said ' Amalkan solat sunat taubat selalu kalau hati tu rasa hitam. Minta ampunkan dosa2 kita yang lalu' :") 

5 remedies of heart

1. Read Quran and understand its meaning

2. Do night prayer

3. Gather with pious people

4. Fast

5. Long zikir at night

If we afford to do all, let's try to do one. InsyaAllah. We'll work hard to  be a good Muslim and ask for His Forgiveness.